The Love Boat
by Kalta79
Summary: Reno and Elena get assigned to pose as newlyweds on a honeymoon cruise tracking a weapons trafficker. Neither of them are happy about it, for different reasons. I named it The Love Boat cause it's kinda like an episode of it, but Turk style, with explosives :-) Though the intro scene, in my head it was like an episode of La Femme Nikita, with Rufus taking the place of Operations.


The Turks all arrived on time for the meeting, except for Reno who was late. Rufus frowned at his absence, and started the meeting without him.

"Carlos DiMerra." Rufus says, bringing up his image on the screen. "Well known to all of us, but he has been able to avoid capture so far. However, he just got remarried, and is going to be taking a honeymoon cruise with his new bride. This is not a retrieval mission. Too many civilians in the way."

Reno sauntered in, took his usual seat, and propped his feet up on the table.

Glaring at him, Rufus continued. "The mission is to get his phone and place a worm on it. We'll have our own pair of newlyweds on that cruise. Elena, you'll be a blue-eyed brunette. Reno, you'll have brown eyes and black hair."

" _What?!_ " Elena and Reno exclaimed simultaneously.

"I thought Tseng and I could handle this one." Elena said, scooting her chair closer to his.

"You have your assignments." Rufus said, sliding folders across the table to Reno and Elena. "Next meeting, try and be on time, Reno. Oh, and you'll also need a haircut." Rufus turned the screen off and left the room.

Reno and Elena stared hard at each other before she gave a little sniff and left the room first.

* * *

They arrived at the airport in a taxi that had picked them up in front of someone else's house, they couldn't risk being seen leaving from Headquarters. Elena had first thought Tseng was coming with her after when she first saw Reno. He had cut and dyed his hair, but to look like Tseng's hair. He seemed similarly surprised by the change in her appearance.

They checked in for their flight, and Elena had to force herself to smile and look happy when Reno put his arm around her and kept it there the whole time. _How was she going to put up with him for two weeks_? _And how could Tseng still be so diffident to her_? Elena shelved her personal frustration and concentrated on the mission. She was a Turk, she could do this. And at least he didn't look like Reno, that helped.

When their flight arrived at the port they were leaving from, a limo was waiting for them to take them to the cruise ship.

"Oh Lawd, is that for us? Honey, you didn't tell me about this!" Elena exclaimed.

Reno turned and looked down at Elena in shock. Where in the hell did she pick up that accent? He'd heard bullfish in heat that sounded nicer.

"I wanted to surprise you, dahling." Reno replied in his own accent he made up.

The chauffeur opened the door for them to get in, and once they did, he loaded all their luggage into the trunk, and then headed to the dock.

"What are you trying to doing with that accent, make everyone deaf?" Reno whispered fiercely to her.

"You're one to talk, I've heard goatflies caterwauling that didn't sound as atrocious." Elena replied, glaring at him.

Reno turned away from her and looked out the window. This wasn't going to be an easy mission. He didn't even feel like himself with having his hair neutered for his disguise.

The limo pulled to a stop, and the chauffeur opened the door for them. Reno got out first, holding out his hand to help Elena out, who clenched her teeth and took it.

Once all the registration formalities were done and they were in their honeymoon suite, which all the suites were, Elena was glad the bed was big enough for them to each have their own space, since there was nowhere else to sleep. She started unpacking their luggage and putting it away. Reno raised an eyebrow when she started taking out her lingerie.

"Are you going to model those for me?" Reno asked as he checked out the mini bar.

"So help me, if you keep it up, I swear I'll castrate you." Elena said tightly. "You never know if they'll check our luggage. A new bride without these would be suspicious."

Reno grabbed himself a few of the small bottles and threw him down on the empty side of bed, and started sampling them to find out what would be his favorite.

"You know, none of those are his style. I've seen the women who interest Tseng." Reno said after the third bottle.

Elena looked sharply up at him, torn between wanting to know more about Tseng's preferences and embarrassment at having her failure with Tseng being known. She decided to check out the information packet instead.

"Oh, there's an orientation program in 15 minutes. Let's go." Elena said.

"Why?" Reno was on bottle five now.

Elena snatched the rest of them out of his grasp. "So we can establish our credentials as newlyweds and find Carlos. We're here on a mission, remember?"

"Fine." Reno got up off the bed and went out the door, coming back a moment later. "Where's the orientation?"

Elena shook her head and grimaced, then looked down at the bottles still in her hand. She threw them on her side of the bed and took Reno's arm, guiding him to the orientation. If this kept up, she might need to start drinking as well.

* * *

Two days later, they still hadn't seen Carlos, and Elena was hard-pressed to keep smiling when they went out for social activities. All the lovey-doveyness she was surrounded with and had to pretend to engage in with Reno made her want to constantly vomit. Right now she had to get Reno back to their suite. He drank too much, despite her warnings, and now he was having trouble staying vertical.

Once back in the privacy of their suite, she helped Reno to the bathroom, and drew him a warm bath in the whirlpool tub. Undressing him, she managed to get him into the tub. She got two pillows, and arranged one under Reno's head hanging over the rim of the tub, and used the one for herself, propping her head against the wall. Her past work as a bartender was coming in handy.

She had dozed off when she heard a noise, and opened her eyes to see Reno trying to get out of the tub. She put her hand on his shoulder and he looked at her.

"I don't feel so good." Reno said.

Elena handed him the solid wastebasket, and he promptly threw up into it. When he was done, she dumped the contents into the toilet and flushed it. As Reno just laid there, half hanging over the side of the tub, Elena emptied out the cold water and refilled it with fresh warm water. Then she handed him some mouthwash, making sure he only swished it around in his mouth instead of swallowing it, and spit it out into the wastebasket, which she then rinsed out in the sink.

After she gave him a little time to soak in warm water, she drained the tub and got him out, dried him off, and got him to the bedroom. Elena put him in some pajamas she found in his clothes, and then got him into his side of the bed. She turned the lights off and got into her side of the bed when Reno spoke to her.

"Elena?" he whispered.

"What?" she whispered back.

"Tseng's a fool."

Elena laid there in surprise as she heard Reno start snoring. Not sure how to handle it, she went to sleep herself.

* * *

The next night, Elena was out on the deck watching the stars when she felt hands on her shoulders. She tensed for a moment before she realized it was Reno.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"I'm fine." Elena stepped to the side of him, turning around to face the ship while Reno looked out over the waves.

"I haven't been on a boat since I was six." he said.

Elena turned her head to look at him. Was he serious or just making up crap to go with his cover identity? All of a sudden, he pulled her to him and she tensed up.

"I see Carlos. Relax." Reno whispered in her ear as he kissed her. "You're beautiful." he said out loud.

As she pretended to respond, she saw Carlos as well. He looked at them briefly before continuing on his way. As soon as he disappeared from sight, Reno let her go, and Elena braced herself against the railing.

"You go right, I'll go left. We need to find out where his suite…" Reno didn't get a chance to finish before Elena took off. "Whatever…"

Reno was glad for a chance to be by himself. He was trying hard to not take advantage of this mission to satisfy his long suppressed desire for Elena. He found himself in a dead end, and was turning around when Elena suddenly appeared, looking around, then drew his head down to her, kissing him.

"He's in room 418." she whispered in his ear. "Let's hurry and get back to our room before someone sees us."

Once back in their suite, Elena was surprised when Reno headed straight for the bathroom. She heard the shower going, and as soon as he came out, she went in to take a nice warm bath. She suddenly realized the bathroom wasn't all steamy. She put her hand on a shower tile. A cold shower? Elena shook her head and focused on her bath. After she got out and crawled into bed, she noticed Reno was already asleep.

"Wake up!" Elena shook him.

"What?" he demanded testily as he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Tomorrow we'll trigger a fire alarm and I'll sneak into his suite and place a camera so we'll know where he keeps his phone when he's there. Then we can plant the device close enough to infect it. Mission accomplished."

"Fine." He turned away from her and went back to sleep.

Elena was surprised by his lack of enthusiasm at finishing the mission. She went back to her side of the bed feeling frustrated with him again, and despite that, her last thought before she went to sleep was of the sensation of his lips on hers when he kissed her on the deck. That kiss felt different than their other ones they had faked as happy newlyweds.

* * *

Her plan didn't quite work out as she had planned though. At the brunch table the next morning, as she sat in Reno's lap, Carlos and his wife approached them and asked if they could sit down.

"Of course." Elena said charmingly, gesturing to the empty seats at their table.

"I saw you two last night, and my wife and I wanted to know if you'd like to join us tomorrow evening for a special party."

"Oh, what kind of party?" Elena asked excitedly, as she fed Reno some fruit to keep his mouth full so he wouldn't be able to say anything to ruin their opportunity.

Carlos and his wife exchanged looks.

"It'd be a party of four." Carlos explained hesitantly.

Now it was Reno and Elena's turn to exchange looks.

"We'll have to think about it. If we want to, what time will it start?" Reno finally got a word in, having refused more food from Elena.

"Seven o'clock when the ship is in port." Carlos' wife said. "We'll hope to see you there."

Carlos and his wife got up and left.

* * *

Back in their suite, Reno expressed his doubts about it being too easy.

"Oh, what's the big deal? They approached us, this way we can be there to make sure his phone gets infected." Elena said.

"If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Reno firmly stated.

"Don't be such a spoilsport. It's time to contact Tseng and let him know what's going on."

Elena pulled out the laptop and made sure the connection was secure before she activated the video chat with Tseng. She pulled Reno down into seat and sat on his lap again so they'd both be on camera. When Tseng appeared, he only talked to Reno, who filled him in on the latest developments. He also was suspicious of Carlos' offer.

"You've only got three days left to succeed. And new intel suggests something else is going on with Carlos. We're trusting you, Reno." Tseng said as he closed the connection.

"Maybe I look too different now." Elena thought out loud, trying to find a justification for Tseng's ignoring her again.

"Don't be silly, you're beautiful no matter what you look like." Reno told her before he realized what he had said. It was getting harder for him to keep his personal feelings separate from their cover identities.

Elena turned to look at him in surprise, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. Did he just call her beautiful? She shook her head in confusion, and got off his lap, putting the laptop away before checking to see what social events were going on that afternoon.

* * *

That night, Elena lay in bed in a black silk slip, stewing over Tseng's continued indifference. Even Reno was being nicer to her than he was. Not just when he was playacting as her husband, even in the privacy of their suite he never ignored her, he would just leave her alone, but he was always aware of her. That's when she remembered his comment earlier that day. She put her hand on his arm and shook him awake.

"What?" Reno asked sleepily, turning towards her.

"Did you mean it when you said I was beautiful?" Elena asked.

"Huh? Of course you are." Reno said, then turned back on his side to go back to sleep.

She shook Reno again.

"What now, Elena?" he asked grumpily.

"Thank you." Elena went to give him a simple gratitude kiss, but as their lips touched, an idea formed in her head. _Damn Tseng_! Three years of celibacy waiting for him to return her advances, she'd show him.

Reno's eyes widened in shock as Elena started fondling him.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

Elena took her slip off and put his hands on her for an answer. The feel of her firm ass under his hands and her breasts against his chest was too much for him.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. He hoped this was his chance…he had wanted her for so long, but he wanted to make sure it was her choice.

She smiled and kissed him harder. He took her in his arms, responding just as she had hoped he would. Elena moaned as she felt him enter her, her body eager for him to make up for those wasted years. Their suppressed desires finally being unleashed took them over, and they felt themselves being engulfed. Elena clawing Reno's back spurred him on when he felt himself start to give out. They fell asleep in each other's arms with their bodies still quivering.

Later that night when Elena woke up, her body wasn't satiated yet. She was surprised at that, the intensity had been unbelievable, how could that not have been enough? She woke Reno up, and he was glad to oblige her. Unfortunately it wasn't as powerful as the first time, but it was still extremely satisfying. So was the third time, but it wasn't until the fourth time that her body was finally satiated. As she lay in Reno's arms waiting for her body to quiet enough for her to sleep, she knew she had made the right choice. She knew he would have the skill to be the one to break her sexual fast with. And Tseng, if he found out, he'd either get jealous and finally do something, or keep ignoring her, so it was a no risk move on her part.

Reno woke up at dawn, smiling as he saw Elena still there in his arms. He stroked her hair gently, not wanting to wake her up. Last night exceeded his expectations. He had his fantasies about her, but the reality was better. Of course that might have been due to it being the culmination of three years of repressed desire. He only hoped she wouldn't regret it when she woke up.

* * *

In the morning, Elena woke up and heard Reno in the shower, singing some godawful song. She got out of bed and started the espresso maker.

"Make enough for two." Reno said as he came out of the bathroom in the complimentary robe, drying his hair.

"Fine." Elena replied. "Thanks for last night, now we should be more convincing to Carlos and his wife."

"I'm always willing to take one for the team." Reno said flatly as he took his espresso out to the balcony and just sat there drinking it, looking out at the waves.

Elena stared after him, wondering what the hell his problem was. Was she going to be ignored not only by Tseng, but by Tseng look-alikes now?

As they left to go to brunch holding hands like they usually did in public, Elena was confused. When Reno had taken her hand in his, she felt something, but it was too fleeting for her to figure out what.

Carlos and his wife approached them again briefly, finding out if they were still interested in the party. Elena reassured them that they would be there.

Elena was confused again by the twinges she kept feeling as she played the happy newlywed. When they got back to their suite, she contacted Tseng again, letting him know what was going on. Reno stayed off camera, just staring at her as she talked to Tseng. After that was done, she took a nap as Reno left the suite. She woke up and found herself alone. She had just gotten out of bed when the door to the suite opened and a very drunk Reno staggered in. She hurried and locked the door behind him, then helped him to the bed. He drug her down to the bed with him by keeping his arm around her.

"What were you thinking, going and getting drunk like that?" Elena demanded to know as she removed his arm from her. "We're supposed to be happy newlyweds!"

"I'm a happy newlywed whose wife only wants me cause I look like Tseng." Reno said before he passed out and started snoring

Elena stared at his unconscious body in surprise. He actually sounded hurt when he said that. An uncomfortable sense that she had made a serious mistake last night crept over her. _Did Reno actually have feelings for her_? If so…Elena cringed when she thought about her behavior towards him on the cruise. She didn't know how to make it up to him, except…Elena stood up and hurriedly left the room.

* * *

Carlos' wife opened the door, surprised to see Elena there.

"We told you the party wasn't until tonight." the wife said with unexpected sharpness.

"I know, but I wanted to ask you a few more questions about the party." Elena said brightly.

"Let her in." Carlos ordered his wife, who shrugged and moved out of the way.

* * *

Reno woke up feeling like crap. He staggered to the bathroom and threw up, and then he realized Elena was gone. Coming back into the main room, he noticed a light flashing on the suite phone. He pushed a button and a message started playing.

"If you want to see your _wife_ again, come to our suite as soon as you get this." Carlos' voice said.

Reno cursed and headed out. _What was Elena thinking? If anything happened to her…_ He felt a chill at the thought of her in danger.

* * *

When he got to suite 418, he knocked on the door and it swung open, revealing Elena tied to a chair and gagged. She tried to say something as soon as she saw Reno, but it was too muffled. He started to rush in, then suddenly the door slammed shut behind him and he felt the air move behind as Carlos' wife shot forward to taser him, and Elena tried to scream as the wife then kicked Reno in the head when he hit the floor. The wife then smiled maliciously at Elena and that was the last thing Elena remembered.

When they both regained consciousness, Elena didn't know where they were, but they must be on shore, because they were handcuffed separately around old concrete support beams, and she was concerned by the bloody gash on Reno's forehead and how pale he looked.

"So, who are you working for?" Carlos asked. He and his wife were there, guns pointed at them. "You gave yourself away you know, we had never told you what our room number was.

Elena started crying and used her accent she had tried out on the chauffeur. "Ah'm just here to celebrate my honeymoon with my drunk bum of a husband!"

Carlos winced. "Where the hell did you pick up that accent? I've heard bullfish in heat that sounded nicer."

Elena stopped crying as she took umbrage at his insult and glared at him.

"I know how to make her talk." Carlos' wife said. She walked over to Reno and hit him in the head with the butt of her gun.

"Reno!" Elena cried out as his head hit the concrete beam with a sickening noise.

"Oh, one of the Turks' finest. I'm flattered I rate that much." Carlos said.

"Let's get out of here, we're late for the meeting." the wife said.

Carlos nodded. "Oh, can't forget the party favor." He put a timed explosive at the entrance and activated it as they left.

Elena put her head down and used her teeth to open her shirt, then rubbed and jiggled herself against the beam until the underwire from her bra started poking out, and she grabbed that with her teeth until she had the whole thing. She managed to move her head close enough to grab the underwire with her hands, and she broke it in half, using the sharp edges to pick open the handcuffs. Once free, she hurried over to Reno and freed him as well, dragging him as far away from the entrance as possible. She had seen the type of device it was, and the timer was facing them. There wasn't enough time to disable it.

When they were against the far wall of the building, she examined Reno's head wounds. She wish she had something to clean the two bloody gashes. At least his pulse was strong. She looked back at the bomb and noticed how close the timer was to zero. She turned back to Reno and noticed his eyes were open and he was looking at her. If this was it, she wanted to distract him from knowing what was coming, so she kissed him, making sure her body shielded his as she felt the bomb go off. Reno felt it too, and saw debris go flying around Elena, then suddenly it was over. He started to say something when she suddenly tensed up and then slid off him.

"Elena?" he asked, concerned.

When she hit the floor, he looked in horror at the two by four stretching from her back to her head, with the long building nails impaling it to her body.

"Elena!"

Reno felt her for a pulse and was relieved that she was still alive. He didn't know if those nails had caused any internal injuries, and he didn't want to risk moving her. He was in no condition to try and go for help, so he just lay next to her, stroking her hair and saying her name to try and get a response, until he fell asleep. He woke to someone calling his name. Hoping it was Elena, he looked over at her, but she was still unconscious.

"Are you in here, partner?" A familiar voice called out.

"Rude!" Reno looked around, and then he saw some debris move from the entrance and his partner walk in.

Rude dusted himself off and walked over to Reno and Elena, blinking as he saw Reno holding her hand. He checked Reno's head wounds, then radioed in for a medical team for him and Elena.

"How'd you know we were here?" Reno asked.

"Reports came in of an explosion, that happened to be in the city where your ship was docked for the day. I knew it just had to be you." Rude answered.

"Carlos and his wife got away." Reno said dispiritedly.

"No, they didn't." Rude replied with a grim smile.

Soon the team arrived and one tended to Reno's head wounds, while the rest of them started securing Elena for transport and starting an IV for her. Reno refused to let go of her hand, and she finally regained consciousness as they got her safely on the gurney. She was extremely confused and disoriented, and when she squeezed the hand holding hers, she saw someone with black hair look at her and say something.

"Tseng?" Elena said the first name that came to mind.

Reno felt his heart sink and let go of her hand as Tseng suddenly appeared at the entrance and ran over to the gurney, taking her hand that Reno had released.

"I'm here, Elena. When I heard that you were in trouble, I…I'm sorry I took so long." Tseng kissed her hand.

Elena was still confused, this person holding her hand she had no reaction to, yet they were reacting to her. She wanted whoever had been holding her hand first. As they reached the ambulance and Tseng climbed in to ride with her to the hospital, her mind cleared enough to figure out what had been confusing her. She looked around and saw Reno holding onto Rude, following her gurney.

"Reno, I…" Elena started to say.

"I'll see you at work. Don't keep Tseng waiting. Get better soon." Reno turned away from her, Rude supporting him as they walked to the second ambulance.

"Reno!" Elena cried out weakly as they loaded her into the ambulance. Tseng stroked her hair and rambled on about things she didn't pay attention to, as they drove to the hospital. She was thinking about the look on Reno's face just before he walked away from her.

* * *

A week later, Reno was surprised by a knock on his door. He opened it cautiously and Elena stood there with the cane she had to use until she was totally healed. The doctors had said she came within two millimeters of being paralyzed for life, as it was she would need weeks to be able to walk on her own.

"May I come in?" she asked, noticing his color was much better and there was no blood on his head bandage.

"Sure. So how come you're here, instead of with Tseng? I would have thought you would be on your own honeymoon cruise as soon as you got out of the hospital, since you finally got his attention." He walked away from the door and went back to his living room and turned the TV off.

Elena followed him inside and stopped when he did.

"What do you want?" He faced her and folded his arms.

"You got your hair color back." Elena said, clasping her hands in front of her, unsure how else to begin saying what she wanted to.

"You too." Reno sat down in his recliner and stared at the blank screen.

Elena stood in front of him and fingered his red hair. "I like the real Reno better." she said softly.

Reno snapped his head up and looked at her questioningly. Elena smiled gently, nodding. He lit up and pulled her down onto his lap, and she eagerly responded to him.

* * *

As they signed in, the cruise ship receptionist handed them all their information packets and keys, before she looked more closely at them.

"Have you taken one of our cruises before?" she asked. "You look familiar."

Reno and Elena looked at each other, barely containing their laughter. "We get that a lot." they replied simultaneously, grabbing their luggage and hurrying down to the honeymoon suite. Reno unlocked the door and they went in. As soon as he finds the DO NOT DISTURB sign, he puts it on the outside of the door, then closes and locks the door as Elena unpacked her lingerie and smiled at him.


End file.
